Go Through to Get Through#2

“Your appointment is scheduled with your therapist. Please arrive fifteen minutes early to fill out additional paperwork.”

When I hung up the phone, I thought to myself “I don’t need therapy. I don’t need anyone that do not know me all in my business.” I was fourteen years old when I first started therapy. At that time in my life, I was dealing with so many issues. My physician suggests that I consult with a therapist and proceed to give me a list of numbers to a known therapist in my area. I was so scared because I didn’t know what to expect. When that day came for me to go to my scheduled therapist appointment, I decided to bring along a family member to my first appointment. I was so nervous because I didn’t know what to expect.

As I got out of the cab, I proceed to walk into the office building. I walk through the door and finally met my therapist. The first session confrim to me that I didn’t need to come back. We didn’t connect as I assumed we were supposed to do. I decided that day to never return to that building. Seven years later, when I became a wife, I realize how important it would have been if I decided to talk with a therapist back then when I was a teenager. From that moment forward my life became a living hell.

I decided to talk with a therapist because, by this time, I was hurting inside. I wanted answers to questions that were never going to be answered the way I wanted them to. There were feelings I thought I could suppress with alcohol and other recreational drugs, but it didn’t work and in the end, caused more damage. I even got incarcerated and couldn’t be around my family. I was a hot mess. I needed help, and I needed it bad. I decided to give counseling one more try. Once I return from the first session, I started to feel a tab bit better, but as I continued, it started to get better. I developed a relationship with my therapist, and my therapist helped me become a better person. Well I helped myself become a better person because I put in the work. My therapist was there to help me release all the hurt I caused myself. My therapist was there to help me forgive myself.

Getting help is very important when the thought of suicide comes in mind. Sometimes it can be scary, but you must follow through with talking out your problems. Here are very important choices I’ve made that help me. If you are experiencing feelings that you don’t understand, try these options so you can know what to do next:

1). Prevention Line

The most important thing you can do is call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline number at 1-800-273-8255 or visit the website at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org. Once you contact the hotline a crisis worker will assist you in making sure that you are not alone. You will be asked questions regarding your safety, feelings, social situation, and any thoughts of suicide. If the counselor feels you are in danger, they will speak with you about accessing emergency services or gather additional contact information to ensure your safety. The chat counselor will work with you to create a safety plan if necessary.

2). Family and Friends

Some family and friends may not know about the attempt of suicide, but for the family and friends that know, they may need time to process what happened. Your journey is not their journey. If you need time on explaining to your family and friends, why then take your time. It is no rush to explain a situation where something serious happens to you.

3). Find a therapist

A good therapist can help you with your experience. They can also help with putting together a plan to find different ways to express life stressors. A therapist can help support you going forward, once you are no longer in crisis. Therapy can help you learn about what you’re feeling, why you might be feeling it, and how to cope. 

4). Be kind to yourself

While being kind to yourself, you will learn the number one thing that you will always need to do. LOVE YOURSELF! Learn that, because once you do, you will stop trying to harm yourself.

5). Take care of your health

Taking care of your health is very important. Exercising, eating healthy, getting enough rest, and having healthy people do something to your spirit. I can have a HUGE impact on your health and mood.

6). Try Support Groups

Attend support groups, or if you dont have one in your area, create one. Different support groups such as depression, or other mental health conditions, and surviving suicide attempts help and show that you are not alone.

7). Someone you trust

Talk with someone you can trust when you are going through it. Let them know what happens and why. Supporting someone that attempted suicide does wonder about that attempted suicide. Just knowing that you had cared for that person when they were at their lowest during that time is very brave. 

I am not a therapist, but these are some things that help me get through with my situation. I wanted to share with you how much it helps just by talking with someone. If these tips don’t work for you, please make sure that you call the National Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Don’t give up is the motto, and ALWAYS remember to #beboldstandbackup

Positive Affirmation #3

When I started BBSBU, I was uncertain. Uncertain that people wouldn’t support me. Uncertain that people would judge me. But most importantly, uncertain of myself. As I begin to show people who I am, that uncertainly began to fade. I started to open up about what made me, me. I began to gain confidence knowing I AM important. Knowing what I have to offer is what people need every day.

It all starts with you and how you view yourself. YOU have to tell yourself that you are important. You are the only person that can build your confidence. So when you are low on confidence, remind yourself these things to pick yourself back up:

1) Think positive about yourself

2)Be kind and generous

3) Set a small goal and achieve it.

4) Empower yourself

5) Last but surely isn’t least, Be grateful!

If you do all these things, you can boost your confidence in no time!


Blessed List

When I look at my family, I realize how blessed I am. To have a husband who cherishes me, understands me, and loves me reminds me of how blessed I am. To have children that adore me, wishes the best for me, and that look up to me reminds me how blessed I am.

There are things you are dealing with right now that is causing you to stress. Take a deep breath! Take your mind to a place of calmness. In your mind or on a notepad, list the things that would consider you blessed. Next time you are feeling stressed and don’t know what to do, refer back to your Blessed List.

Positive Affirmation #2

When was the last time you told yourself that you are successful? Many people have their definitions of what success means to them, but what success means to me is my family. I realize how important it is for me to have a great relationship with the family my husband and I created. My spouse and children are my motivation to get up every morning and continue with my passion that is going to lead me to be successful. I’m sure you have your own definition of what successful means to you. If you would like to share, leave a comment!


Go Through to Get Through

“Why am I’m here?”

“Why do I always feel like a burden to my family?”

“Why can’t I just have a healthy relationship with people that are dear to me?”

I thought these thoughts as I sat at my desk during the first hour in high school. I looked around and saw how my classmates were smiling, laughing with one another, or focusing on their class assignment. I couldn’t take the sight anymore. I couldn’t take seeing everyone around me, smiling and laughing while I sat with confusion written on my face. Before I got teary-eyed, I excused myself to the girl’s restroom. As I walked down the long and empty school hallway, I thought about what would the world be like, without me here? Would my family members care? Would I be at peace finally? I wasn’t quite sure of the answers, but I know I was willing to find out.

As I reached the girl’s bathroom, I immediately checked the other stalls to see if there were any other girls in the restroom with me. For some reason, I wanted to be alone. I didn’t want anyone around. Not even my best friend. As I walked into the stall, I pull out a bottle of painkillers I grab that morning for the house. I turn the bottle around and read the name “Painkillers.” I opened the bottle and thought to myself; I hope it takes all my pain away. Then that’s when I took a handful of pills. After I swallowed those painkillers, I felt horrible. My stomach started to hurt, and thoughts of not being with my family came into my mind. I turned around and quickly put my finger down my throat to throw up the painkillers.

As I walk back down the long, empty hallways, I stopped at the nurse’s station to inform her what I just did. She suggests that I go home and take as much time I need off. She then phones a relative to pick me up from school to take me home. I never told anyone until now. I wanted to forget what I did to myself as if the situation would magically disappear, but later in my life, I realize that that situation caused so much damage to my wellbeing.

When individuals feel like giving up on their life, that means that the person is experiencing pain, and the only way they think, it will get better for them, is to cause physical pain on themselves, which is better known as suicide. When a person attempts suicide, you may wonder what causes this person to take extreme measures? I’m going to name a few and give several details about what causes a person to do so.

In the article “Why Do People Commit Suicide” by Nancy Schimelpfening, MS, she expresses relevant information on why individuals think of suicide attempts. She also said, “There might have been no clear warning signs, and you may wonder what clues you might have missed. Often, many factors combine to lead a person to the decision to take their own life.

1.) Mental Illness

 Many reasons can make a person commit suicide, and the number one reason is severe depression. Depression can make people feel great emotional pain and loss of hope. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP), depression is about half of all suicides. Other mental illnesses that can increase the risk of suicide are:

  • Bipolar disorder
  • Borderline personality disorder
  • Eating disorders
  • Schizophrenia

2.)Traumatic Experiences

 A person who has had a traumatic experience. Including childhood sexual abuse, rape, physical abuse, or war trauma, is at a higher risk for suicide, even many years after they experienced their trauma experience. Nearly 22% of people who were raped had attempted suicide at some point, while 23% who experienced physical assault tried to take their own life at some point. Depression is common after trauma and among those with Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), causing feelings of helplessness and hopelessness that can lead to suicide.

3.) Substance Use and Impulsivity

Drugs and alcohol can also influence a person who is feeling suicidal, making them more impulsive and likely to act upon their urges than they would be while sober. The rates of substance use and alcohol use disorder are also higher among people with depression and other psychological disorders.

4.) Loss or Fear of Loss

People may decide to take their own life when facing a loss or the fear of a loss. These situations can include:

  • Academic Failure
  • Being arrested or imprisoned
  • Financial problems
  • End of a close friendship or relationship
  • Loss of friends or family acceptance

You may never know why a person attempted to commit suicide. While it might have appeared that someone had everything to live for, it probably didn’t feel that way.

Expressing a suicide situation can be scary, so I don’t want you to tell me about the situation unless you are comfortable. If you are not comfortable, that is understandable. It takes time to open to anyone about your experience.

In the next article, I will share my experiences about getting the help I needed and list tips on how you to can make a full recovery.

Don’t give up is the motto, and ALWAYS remember to #beboldstandbackup!

Positive Affirmation #1

When I walk into my bathroom in the morning, I look in my mirror and tell myself this affirmation EVERY morning! The image I see starting back at me is also the image others see. Not only do I want to show them, but I want them to FEEL my beautiful energy



What is strong, you might ask?
Strong is me!
The one that endured so much
The one with her roots,
Planted firmly in the ground
No matter how hard the wind blows,
I will NEVER fall down

Strong is YOU!
Imagine being born in the arms of love.
Just to be uprooted and plant into the arms of immorality.
Strong is understanding that you don’t belong to anyone.
But STILL, give and show love anyways.

Strong is standing in front of a blossoming field.
With high winds blowing
As you look around
You see petals soaring in the wind.
You look up, and you look all around.
You see, your petals are still attached.
I’m this STRONG!